She who had pledged herself to the spirit of beauty in life would now bring forth lives that had their own path. A part of her and yet not and this part of her might not be pledged for to pledge this part she had no right. During her "Mother" phase more than any other she learned the lesson of free will. She remembered her life as a child when her own Mother tried to spoon feed religion to her as some distasteful medicine that a duty forced her to take in order to heal some unknown ailment that might overtake her before she would know what hit her.
Now that the maternal role was hers, a part of her understood the wanting to heal the darkness that could overtake a spirit without the comfort that spiritual committment might offer. A bigger part of her knew, though, that the committent had to come of one's own volition and that any attempt to sway a soul to a path that it felt no pull to offered no healing but rather could do much more harm than good.
She felt this harm, herself, but could not blame her own Mother for wanting to bring her child with her down a path that had given comfort. The fact that this path was not her own was something that her Mother would never have understood for in her world there was but one path and one journey to get there.
She knew a bitter pain when her own children grew to an age of their own decision making far worse than the sweeter pain of childhood when all the decisions belonged to someone else. When her own offspring came forth the choices were hers--and yet they were not. She had to choose the right words and acts to bring forth these new lives..to give them warmth and nourishment. Yet in giving them all the things that children need to grow strong and true she had to give just enough guidance to make their own decisions in life and then she realized the hardest decision of all. She had to give them freedom of choice.
Unlike her own parents she would not push her children toward her nor would she pull them along with her for force them to share that which had given her such joy and comfort. She knew something that her own Mother did not. In order to find that comfort and joy the decision must be their own.
The main reason that she must not make her children's choice was that her own path was not the easiest. Often she was made to feel like a minor criminal in her own home. While in the early part of her life, her Mother had not only insisted that she attend the local Christian Church but on many occasions had driven her there herself or watched like a hawk as she climbed the rusty stairs to the unattractive bus with the uncomfortable and smelly seats. This middle part of her own life found her Mother berating her for not forcing her own children to do the same as she had. And force them she would NOT!
Some time during this middle life-phase was when she realized that the word Witch not only was acceptable to her but felt delicious on her tongue as a rich expensive chocolate might. Even though it was years before she could say the word out loud due partly because of the way she feared her children might either react or be reacted TO, when she finally WAS able to say it to others she found herself a much more comfortable person. But this was long after her Mother phase had ended.
